What I'd Do Without You
by Silentwater
Summary: Even in death and beyond, the two of them will always fail to see eye-to-eye on every concept but one: the meaning of a precious nakama. IchiRuki


What I'd Do Without You

Summary: Even in death and beyond, the two of them will always fail to see eye-to-eye on every concept but one: the meaning of a precious nakama.

* * *

Never in a million years would Ichigo have imagined that he would die by the hands of the one person he held so dear to his heart. With her pristine white zanpakotou lodged so painfully deep into his chest…He smiled. It somehow seemed fitting and even enlightening to the young man to have such a form of pureness cut down the darkness within him. In the end, no matter what, Rukia has always been and will always be his light.

"Rukia…" he barely coughed out. Blood was oozing out of the corner of his lips, but he could care less. He could only focus on the petite shinigami, whose pretty face was completely riddled with anguish as she knelt before him.

"Ichigo?" the woman murmured in distress. Her cobalt eyes glistened with the reflection of the tip of her sword protruding from his back. It was as if she could not fully grip the reality that it was her nakama's blood painting the blade of Sode no Shirayuki crimson. But even so, she wanted to scream when she felt the warmth of his blood drip from the hilt onto her hands, except her body was too tired to even let a shriek make it past her quivering lips. Frustrated, she merely gritted her teeth as tears began to well up in her eyes.

"Rukia," the orange-headed substitute shinigami whispered again in a hoarse tone, his ragged breathing becoming shallower and more pronounced by the moment.

"Yes?" she responded. She slowly released her shaking right hand from the hilt of her sword and gently draped her free arm around his neck to help ease him down to rest his head on her lap.

It took her a lot of strength to prevent herself from breaking down completely as she craned her neck over to look at the face of the dying young man. Detestably, his face was still partially covered by the shards of his cynical, hollow mask.

"Ichigo, I'm sorry," she cried softly, "I should've found another way."

"No…I…Thank you," he mumbled almost incoherently.

The raven-haired death god's eyes immediately widened.

"Wha-what?"

His smile turned bittersweet.

If there was one person in the world he would have to kill him in order to preserve his honor and dignity, he was glad it was Rukia. He would not have had it any other way. Unfortunately for him, the petite Shinigami did not share his sentiments.

"Idiot. Why are you…?"

"Shut up…" he wheezed, "You saved me."

"How can you say that? You're dying." She finally allowed the tears that she was holding back flow freely from her eyes.

"I was losing my mind. My hollow was taking over. You just restored the peace."

"Ichi-"

"Please, Rukia. No matter what you think, you saved me," he whispered earnestly. A bout of violent coughing then began to wreak havoc on his body. A thick trail of blood continued to ooze from the corner of his dried, bluish lips.

How could she still argue with him now? Respecting his wish, she nodded submissively and decided to take in her final moment with him by cradling him in her arms. Gently, she brushed off the remaining shards of his hollow mask off of his face, smiling resentfully as she did so.

_I'm glad you have found your peace._

His eyes then began to shine at their brightest for a brief moment before fading away completely into a dull shade of mahogany.

"Ichigo?" She shook him a little. When that failed to elicit a response from him, her grip on his lifeless body tightened and the great Kuchiki Rukia began to sob uncontrollably. He was dead. And with Inoue being held captive by Aizen, there was no way Ichigo could return from the dead. Not this time. And so the screams she held back for so long finally made it past her lips, echoing throughout Hueco Mundo, dripping with the essence of despair.

____

"Rukia!"

Alarmed, Renji's head instantly whipped towards the direction of the scream. His eyes widening as he realized something.

"Do you guys feel it?"

Sado's face paled as he dropped to his knees. It couldn't be. His best friend was…

"Yeah. Kurosaki's reiatsu is…"

"Gone."

Ishida glanced at the girl beside him who finished his sentence. An expression of disbelief was frozen on her face.

"Inoue-san…"

Almost instantly, Ishida felt a wave of anger rush through him. How could Kurosaki do this? They had just been able to secure Inoue's safety and he randomly goes up and gets himself killed? The bespectacled young man knew that he had to do something for the auburn-haired girl's sake. Without a word, he grabbed her hand and began to pull her in the direction of where Kurosaki Ichigo and Kuchiki Rukia would be.

"Ishida! What are you –?"

Renji and Sado stared at their comrade with bewildered expressions.

"Let's go!" The blue-haired teenager merely stated without even turning around to face his companions. "If we can get there on time, Kurosaki might still have a chance."

He then gave Inoue's hand a gentle squeeze before continuing pulling her to their destination.

"Ishida-kun…" she uttered out lamely, as though she was only recently aware of his existence.

_Don't worry Inoue-san. Kurosaki can't be dead. I won't forgive him if he is. _

____

As she cried, Rukia placed her lips gently over Ichigo's cold soft ones. She knew that this was wrong, a violation of her respect for the young man, but she could not help it. For the second time in her life, she was losing someone she had loved, because of her inability to rescue him from the hollows. Knowing that, her kiss became rough and desperate, simultaneously bitter and sweet. It was only when she became dizzy from the lack of air that she finally pulled away from him.

_I'm sorry, Ichigo. I can't agree with you. I only saved your pride, not you._

She noticed that her blade was still lodged in the shinigami's chest, barely missing his heart. Although disgusted by the sight, she was somehow unable to tear her eyes away from her sword. Sode no Shirayuki, the most beautiful snow and ice zanpakotou of all of Soul Society, all of a sudden seemed the ugliest to her now that it was covered in Ichigo's blood. A blade stained with sins…perhaps she could repent for them by spilling her own blood?

With that in mind, Rukia gently shifted Ichigo's body off of her lap and feebly pushed herself up onto her feet. Despite her weak and tired muscles, she managed to pull out her blood-stained sword in one swift motion.

As she positioned the tip of her blade against her throat, images of the people she cared about flashed before her:

_Ichigo…Renji…Nii-sama… her human world friends and family…_

"Goodbye," she whispered to no one, but before she could thrust the blade into her neck, a pair of arms became wrapped around her waist, two different hands, a pale one and a bronze one, gripped each of her wrists, and a warm, calloused hand covered her own, preventing her from making any sudden movements.

_Everyone…_

"Oi Rukia! What the hell do you think you're doing?" Renji demanded angrily, roughly pulling her sword away from her small hands.

"Renji…"

When Rukia felt the side of her black hakama becoming wet, she slowly turned to find that it was Inoue's arms that were around her waist, her face buried into her side as she cried.

"Ku-Kuchiki-san! You weren't going to do it, right? You weren't going to waste the precious life Kurosaki-kun fought to save, right?" The teenage girl muffled into her friend's clothes. In a way, she almost looked like a child and Rukia could not help but be speechless.

"I…" the petite shinigami began to say, but her voice trailed away when she found that she could not lie to her. "Yes, I was."

Automatically, Ishida who was grasping her right wrist, tugged at her arm, forcing her to face him.

"What are you thinking? Kurosaki is going to be furious if he learns what you were trying to do!" he lectured.

"If he learns…? Can't you see for yourself? Ichigo is dead. " she stated bitterly.

"No. He isn't."

The gentle giant, who was holding her left wrist, took a step aside to allow her to peer past him and see that Inoue's Sōten Kisshun was now healing Ichigo's wounds. Rukia barely had time to register what was going on, but her cerulean eyes almost instantly lit up when she heard a soft grunt escape from the carrot top's lips.

"Ichigo," Rukia breathed out. Her comrades' hold on her weakened as they no longer thought that she was a threat to herself, allowing her to rush to the side of the revived Ichigo.

"Rukia? How?" the ginger-haired shinigami groaned, as her blurry face came into sight.

"Guess." She merely replied and Ichigo's eyes followed the direction of her gaze as she turned her head towards Inoue who smiled in relief.

_Kurosaki-kun…Thank goodness._

"Inoue? Everyone…you're all here." Ichigo forced himself to sit up, which only caused him to grimace. The wounds may be gone, but hell, the pain was still there.

"No shit, we're here! Thought you could escape from us, huh, stupid?" Renji sneered in a joking manner. In actuality, he was extremely relieved that his friend was fine, but after casting a glance at his childhood friend, he remembered that he had a duty to make Ichigo pay for what could have happened. And so, he suddenly grabbed Ichigo by the front of his tattered haori, pulling the carrot-top's face real close to his own.

"In any case, I don't care if you just came back to life, but I'm warning you. If you die again, I will kill you myself." He threatened quietly, his tattooed eyebrows furrowing as he spoke. "Because of you, Rukia was going to kill herself right next to you and I can't let that happen, got it?"

"She was going to – what?"

Surprised by the new information, Ichigo pushed himself away from Renji to look at Rukia, who was smiling wearily at him. Her smile faltered when she noticed that the aura around him was growing dark.

"Rukia, you were going to kill yourself?" he asked in such an unrelenting manner that Rukia dared not meet his glowering amber eyes. When his question was met with silence, his patience snapped.

"Rukia, answer me!" he demanded, scowling. There was another pregnant pause, but before Ichigo could say anything more, she replied.

"Yes." She bluntly stated. Her bangs were covering her eyes as if to protect her from the intensity of the young man's scrutiny. "I could not live with knowing that I killed you. I'm sorry."

"But I told you. You saved me!"

"I didn't save you! If I had, you would not have died. Don't you know the meaning of 'saving a life'?"

"But you did! You stopped my hollow!"

"Oi! Both of you are at fault!" Renji joined in, annoyed by their bickering.

"You," he pointed at the substitute shinigami, "for saying shit like 'Be glad that you saved me by killing me.'"

"And you" He pointed at a bewildered Rukia. "for thinking," He gave his best falsetto impression. "'Oh no! He's dead. I should kill myself too.' What is this 'Provolone and Minuet'?"

Apparently, jumping into their argument was a bad idea. His comments were only met with hostility and two very sour faces.

"It's 'Romeo and Juliet.' Get it right, dumbass!" Ichigo roared.

"And my voice is not high and squeaky!" Rukia glowered.

"And who asked you anyways? Stay out of this!" the two of them shouted simultaneously at the red-head.

Slightly wounded by the double attack, Renji backed away from them. And the bantering continued, now louder than ever.

"Should we maybe…stop them?" Sado asked the other two spectators uncertainly. Ishida nodded unceremoniously, but Inoue shook her head.

"No…look." She replied, smiling.

She knew that Ichigo's and Rukia's fighting meant something, an unconventional way of expressing their affection for one another. To join in or break up their argument would be inconsiderate. The most they could do was wait out their squabbling, which inevitably did come to a halt when Rukia began dragging Ichigo's body towards Inoue.

"Ichigo! Thank Inoue for reviving you! You've been brought back to life long ago and you still haven't thanked her." Rukia scolded him, pushing him into a bowing position, as his head was being forced towards the sandy ground.

"I know that already! You don't have to push me, teme!" he scowled, rubbing the back of his neck where Rukia's hand was still gripping him strongly. Inoue could not help but grin at the childish behavior.

"Anyways, thank you, Inoue." Ichigo uttered out sincerely, causing her to blush and smile shyly.

"Not at all." She replied calmly even though her heart was beating three times faster than before. She wanted to thank him in return for coming to Hueco Mundo to save her, but before she knew it, he had already went back to bantering with Rukia. When she saw that her savior had suddenly thrown her friend over his shoulder and had shunpoed away, her smile wavered.

Ah, that was right. In Kurosaki-kun's eyes, there is only Kuchiki-san.

Noticing this, Ishida placed his hand gently on the girl's shoulder. Surprised, she turned to face him and forced a grin when she realized that the azure-haired Quincy was trying to comfort her.

"Arigatou, Ishida-kun."

_Perhaps…it was just not meant to be._

____

Ichigo had dashed himself and Rukia to quite a distance away from the rest of their companions. When he finally let her down, the small woman quickly gave him a sharp kick to the shins.

"What the hell, Rukia?" he howled, clutching his throbbing shins in his hands.

"Exactly what I was thinking. What are you doing grabbing me so suddenly like that and pulling me away from our friends?"

"To finish what we started! Never again are you to kill yourself without my permission!" Ichigo immediately went back to growling at the small death goddess. "Scratch that. You are not allowed to get yourself killed. Period!"

"Well, aren't you quite the tyrant? What makes you think that you can dictate my life?"

"Well, like hell, I'd let you do something so stupid like commit suicide. Besides…" His hand suddenly began to rub his neck out of hesitance as he tried to avoid her gaze. "You're…important to me." He finished lamely. All of a sudden, Ichigo was feeling hot…really hot.

Dumbfounded by his statement, Rukia simply did not know how to react. Instead, she cursed her cheeks for growing so warm that she was sure that she was going to faint sometime soon from being overheated.

"Ichigo...what are you saying?"

Her indigo eyes searched his face for a sign, any indication that he just might like her in a way that is more than he's willing to let on, but aside from the pink tint on his cheeks (that is most likely stemming from his embarrassment), his facade betrayed no secrets. Her heart sank when she realized that what she was hoping for was probably just wishful thinking.

_What are you expecting? Don't get your hopes up. It's silly to even consider it._

Ichigo cleared his throat. For some reason, he had trouble breathing. When he tried to face the small shinigami again, he immediately felt his heart pounding erratically to the mere glimpse of her limpid azure eyes. It was as if his endless reservoir of confidence had suddenly run dry, and he cursed it for doing so at such an inconvenient time. Nevertheless, he gathered all of the courage that he could muster, and finally declared what he had wanted to say to her since she had returned from Soul Society.

"You're my precious nakama. Do you understand that, Rukia?"

Nakama…Although it was not necessarily the word she wanted to hear, a pretty smile formed on her lips. She meant something to him and that was all that mattered.

Forcing herself to be content with their strictly platonic relationship, Rukia meant to answer with a forlorn "yes," but before she could say anything, Ichigo had crushed her to himself, gently pressing her head against his chest, allowing her to hear the soothing rhythm of his beating heart.

_Ichigo!_

Rukia's eyes widened in surprise. There was something different about this Ichigo. The Ichigo she knew would never have done something like this, an act so intimate in nature that it is only meant for lovers, not friends. Scared by the novelty of his actions, Rukia tried to break away from his embrace, but soon gave up doing so when she felt his arms tighten around her waist.

"Ichi-"

"Do you feel that?" he mumbled shyly in his most serious tone. She nodded as she rested her head against his chest once more. His heart was racing unusually fast.

"This is why you're important to me." He paused to look down at the woman in his arms. Her eyes were now comically as wide as saucers, and her once pale white cheeks were now painted a lovely cherry-blossom pink. Seeing this made the citrus-haired young man's confidence return, and with a warm smile gracing his lips he finally made his point. "So if anything bad happens to you, I …"

"...don't know what I'd do without you?" Rukia whispered, finishing his sentence for him. "That's how I felt when you died." She felt the young man's body tense at her words. She tilted her head back to look at his face and was instantly met with two warm, golden-brown eyes, both flickering with pure, raw emotions of sincere remorse and sympathy.

"I…didn't know."

_Precious friend, huh…_

Rukia smiled to herself. This guy truly was a clueless idiot, but since he said all of those pretty words to her, she'll let him get away with not getting hit…this time.

She finally pulled away from his grasp, causing Ichigo to be flustered as he just realized that he has probably broken a hundred rules concerning the laws of platonic friendship by holding her for so long.

"Ichigo…"

"Hmm?" he blushed and she grinned even more widely.

"Let's go back. I'm sure they're waiting for us."

"Ah." He managed to utter out, still embarrassed by his previous actions.

With nothing more to say, the two made their way back to their friends in silent content.


End file.
